The Awakening: Aidan Read online

  “Okay. Therapy will trigger more Bahrraj episodes. Considering this episode came almost on top of the one you had yesterday, we need to give you at least twelve hours to recover. You’ll need to be mentally prepared to do what we’ll need to do.”

  Liam shifted, a tinge of red creeping up his neck.

  Jaylin cocked her head to the side. “You can ask me, Liam.”

  Aidan was amazed at how in tune she was with his friend, how she seemed to know what was going on with him without him even speaking. She was intuitive, smart, caring, and feisty. Qualities he loved in a woman.

  His friend cleared his throat. “Can we still do this at Aidan’s cabin? This place gives me the creeps.”

  “If that is what you need to feel comfortable, then yes, we can do it there,” she said without hesitation. “I’ll stop by around noon, okay?”

  “Yeah. Sure.”

  Seeing that the plans had been made, Aidan stepped forward. “Liam, I need to talk to Dr. Avgar before we leave. Can you give us a few minutes?”

  He noted the way Jaylin stiffened. Already preparing. Putting up the defenses. Too bad for her, because he had every intention of tearing them down.

  “Want to get some babysitting instructions?” Liam asked. “Learn how to take care of the pathetic shifter who lives in your home?”

  “No, that’s—”

  “Whatever. I’ll be in the truck.” Liam turned, shoving open the door that led outside.

  Jaylin spun on him. “Why’d you just do that? I had him calmed down.”

  “How was I supposed to know a simple question would have him lashing out again? Besides, we need to talk.”

  “I have nothing to say to you, Mr. O’Connell.”

  “I’m not leaving until we do.”

  She motioned to the chairs lining the walls. “I suggest you make yourself comfortable then, because you’re in for a long wait.”

  As she made her way back to her office, Aidan immediately followed, catching the door before it closed in his face. After he entered, he slammed it behind him. “You can’t keep ignoring me, Jaylin.”

  She stopped walking, her hands clenching by her sides as a long, cleansing exhale came from her. When she faced him, the ice princess was firmly back in place. “I’m not ignoring you, Mr. O’Connell. You are of no concern to me.”

  “Bullshit.” He stepped closer, and she threw her shoulders back, that chin notching up, and all the while the sweet scent of her arousal filled the air. A slow smile drew his lips up, and that scent increased. Oh, she liked their war of words. “If I’m of no concern to you, say my name.”

  “What I refer to you as is neither here nor there.”

  “Really. Then it shouldn’t be a big deal to call me by my first name.” He stalked closer. “Here let me help. Aidan.” He stretched out the syllables.

  “You are such an ass.”

  “You want to say it. Whisper it. Scream it.”

  “In your dreams, Mr. O’Connell.”

  He inhaled deeply as another blast of her arousal poured over him. “Do you think I can’t smell it…see the lies with my own eyes.”

  He looked pointedly at her breasts, where two nipples jutted out proud against the silky material of her blouse. She crossed her arms over her chest. “I feel nothing but loathing for you.”

  His beast gave a long, rolling growl that vibrated his chest, pushing Aidan to step even closer to her. “Such a beautiful little liar. It’d be convincing too if I were human, but I’m not.” He looked into her eyes. “Are you throbbing yet, Jaylin?”

  A slight shifting of her body was his answer.

  “Oh, yes, you are. I can help ease that. I would love to help ease that.”

  As he closed the distance between them until he was standing directly in front of her, a stuttered inhale tightened her chest and she actually took two steps back. “It’s time for you to leave. Past time.”

  She turned her back on him. He yanked her against his chest, his hand wrapping around to splay across her stomach, keeping her locked against him. For a moment, she melted into him, a delighted sigh shooting past her lips. Then she went rigid before trying to jerk away from him but meeting the resistance of his palm. “Let me go, Mr. O’Connell.”

  He brushed his lips against her ear and took satisfaction in the way her body trembled. Her desire for him was a weakness that she hated, but he’d use it against her. “Say my name, Jaylin, and I’ll consider it.”

  He slid his palm up her stomach to tease the underside of her breast. Almost helplessly, her chest pushed forward, seeking more. He smiled. “Say it, Jaylin. Just two little syllables.”

  As if his words gave her a renewed sense of strength, she shoved his hand away. “Get out of my office, Mister O’Connell.”

  She started toward the door. Caterwauling, his beast pounced, driving Aidan forward. Without thought, he grabbed her wrist, spun her around and yanked her back to him.

  Her eyes widened, hands pushed at his chest. “Oh, God! Aidan! No!”

  His name registered a split second before his lips crushed hers. Then her words no longer mattered. Their game no longer mattered. All that did was the rush of spiraling emotions sweeping over his body, rocking him to his very core.

  Belonging. His. Forever.

  Heat bloomed in the area above his heart and spread across his torso, filling him with contentment, happiness…peace.

  The restlessness he’d felt ever since he’d met Jaylin eased. His beast purred, rubbing the side of its head against Aidan’s ribs as the heat slowly faded, leaving behind a current that vibrated in its wake. Such an odd sensation. Not unpleasant. Not in the least. He felt…awakened.

  The Drall.

  Without a doubt, he knew Jaylin was his. After he marked her that current would become her—the eternal link.

  At the thought of leaving his mark on her, the tip of his canines tingled. And when she returned the gesture? The tops of his shoulders burned in anticipation of having her tiny bruises of ownership branded on his body. He would be hers, as she would be his.

  Together. One unit. Everlasting.

  He gathered her closer, completely lost in the warmth of her mouth, her sweet taste, lost in her—his other half. Then he felt it, tasted it. The stiffness. The salt.

  He jerked back. The tears streaking down her face felt like a fist to the gut. She pressed one hand to her trembling lips. “Aidan. What have you done?”

  “I kissed my mate.” Even with her less-than-enthusiastic reaction, his voice was strong, firm, no hesitation, no confusion. Jaylin was his.

  She shook her head. “I’m not your mate.”

  “Yes, you are. There is only one for us.”

  “Don’t you think I know that!” She shoved at him until he finally stepped back, smacking his body as he held up his arms in defense. “You weren’t supposed to kiss me! Damn it, I was trying to protect you.” She froze, then stumbled back, hand covering her mouth again, staring at him. “What have I done?” she whispered.

  The sight of her horror made him want to comfort her, wrap her in his arms and assure her that now that they had found each other, everything would be fine. But when he moved to do so, she flinched.

  “Jaylin—”

  “Don’t come near me!” She fled behind her desk, fingers clutching the back of the leather chair until the knuckles turned white, staring ahead at nothing. “Oh Dea, why?”

  She’d barely breathed the words, but he heard them crystal clear. Heard the despair. “Why are you so upset?”

  Her gaze snapped to his. “Upset? I’m horrified. Appalled. Dismayed. Sickened. Take your pick from any of those much stronger adjectives, because upset doesn’t even begin to define how I feel.”

  He jerked back. “You make it sound like the end of the world.”

  “Oh. Not my world. Your world. You have no idea what you’ve awakened, and how it’s going to change you forever.”

  Melodramatic much? Yet, he knew when to retreat. And now was t
he time. Pressing the issue would only upset her more.

  “I see you need time to think about this. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

  “No. We won’t. I’m there for Liam. Not you. You will stay in your office and give me a wide berth. Do you understand?”

  His beast growled at her demand. Aidan pressed his lips together before saying. “I have no intention of leaving my office.”

  With that he turned and strode out of the room. His beast caterwauled, again, demanding he go back. But he kept his motion forward, remembering she’d finally said his name. Twice.

  In horror.

  What would it take to hear it said in a way he truly wanted?

  …

  As soon as he left her office, Jaylin collapsed into her chair and cradled her head in her hands, allowing the tears to break free.

  Everything he was about to endure was her fault.

  It’d been her responsibility to prevent the awakening. Why had she turned her back on him?

  She’d been lured into a false sense of security, that’s why. As they flung words at each other, his eyes had remained clear. Even after he’d pressed her back against him, she hadn’t heard a warning rumble from the beast. Had there been one?

  She didn’t know for sure. All she’d been aware of was Aidan’s hand roaming over her stomach, the feel of his lips brushing her ear, overwhelmed by her own desire for the man. Thankfully, he didn’t know to keep his mouth shut and his demand for her to say his name had penetrated through her stupor.

  And that was where she’d made the fatal mistake.

  She’d been unaware that telling him to get out had brought forth the beast until he’d whirled her around and his green eyes had been overtaken by the iridescent blue.

  Then it was too late.

  “Jaylin?”

  She lifted her head to see Pam standing in the doorway. Pam’s eyes widened. “Holy shit. What happened?”

  “H-he kissed me.”

  Pam covered her mouth with her hand and stared at Jaylin. “Oh no.” She hurried forward. “Are you okay?”

  Jaylin shook her head. Pam’s slim arms wrapped around her, and at the gesture, tears formed in Jaylin’s eyes again. “I’ve ruined his life, Pam.”

  “No, honey, you didn’t. It would’ve eventually happened no matter how hard you tried to stop it. You can’t blame yourself.”

  “You should’ve seen the happiness, the peace, on his face.” She cupped her head in her hands again. “I don’t want this. I’ve never wanted this. Why would there be a shifter made who has me for his mate? Does our Dea have some twisted sense of humor?”

  “I know it feels that way with everything you’ve seen, but you have to remember it’s not all bad.”

  “Not all bad?” She stared at her friend. “Our entire gift is horrible. I want no part of it.”

  Pam sighed. “I know you don’t, but now that I’ve met that man, something tells me you’re going to have a hell of a time convincing him of that.”

  Chapter Four

  Aidan leaned back against the leather cushions of the whiskey-colored chair and rubbed his chest as he rolled his left shoulder, trying to relieve the pressure building in his torso. The movements didn’t help. He tried shaking out his arms. No dice. His beast wasn’t helping matters with its constant circling and sharp snapping of its tail.

  The feeling had started the moment he’d left Jaylin yesterday.

  Wincing, he rubbed his chest again. It wasn’t painful. Just suffocating. Like a fog had filled his torso and was cramming his insides together. Even his teeth felt on edge, ached. He ground them together, hoping to relieve some of the pressure.

  He glanced at the clock over the fireplace. Jaylin was scheduled to arrive for Liam’s session in thirty minutes. He itched to touch her. To see her. He stood, placed his laptop on the chair, and paced the room.

  She hadn’t been thrilled about awakening the Drall. Not that he really expected her to from the conversation they had the other day, but her reaction seemed over-the-top hysterical almost. As if she truly believed she’d ruined his life. He didn’t understand how. Realizing she was his mate had been the happiest moment of his life, had made everything clear.

  It boggled his mind that it’d had the opposite effect on her. What had happened to her to make her so fearful?

  Three sharp knocks came from the door. His head whipped toward the front entrance.

  Early.

  Could it be possible she now felt the same overwhelming need to be with him?

  He ripped open the door. In a black pantsuit, her hair twisted in a tight bun, briefcase held in her hand, she looked up at him, steely determination glinting back at him. He didn’t like it.

  Leaning forward, he was intent on taking her mouth in a deep kiss, wanting to wipe the expression from her face. She stepped back, hands held up. In a firm tone, she said, “Stop.”

  He forced himself to obey with some major effort.

  “We need to talk,” she said.

  “Now you want to talk?”

  A tight smile came to her lips. “You deserve an explanation, Aidan.”

  She’d said his name. Again. And again it was in a tone he didn’t want to hear.

  “All right. I’d like to know why you freaked out yesterday. Let’s go in the living room.”

  She shook her head. “This is personal. Once I step into that house, I’m here for Liam. This needs to stay outside.”

  “If that’s how you want it.” He motioned toward the porch swing.

  As he sat down beside her, she pinned him with her stare. “That kiss should never have happened.”

  He clenched his teeth. “Are you going to enlighten me on why? You’re my mate, Jaylin. It’s as simple as that.”

  “No. It’s not.” She sighed. “I made a decision a long time ago that will affect your life permanently.”

  He really didn’t like the direction this conversation was going. “Which is?”

  “I will never bond myself to a shifter…ever.”

  He swallowed, not expecting that. “Never is a pretty strong word, don’t you think? Especially considering you’re half shifter and you’ve seen how beautiful the connection is.”

  “There is nothing beautiful about it. Just look at Liam. The Fewshon destroys.”

  “How in the hell can you say that? Our Dea has given the gift of love for eternity, Jaylin, how does that destroy?”

  Her lips pursed as an irritated look crossed her face. Had she really thought she could drop that bombshell and he’d just accept it?

  “She’s given you and every other full shifter this gift.” She said the word gift with such contempt it shocked him. “It’s not a gift, and I’m so thankful our Dea had the sense to grant the woman the choice of reciprocating the bond. I have no desire to ever experience the grief the Fewshon creates, and I won’t unless I bond myself to a shifter, and since I won’t ever have an instinct pushing me to do so, I’m safe.”

  He stifled a groan. “Is that how you see it? A gift of choice? Do I need to give you a biology lesson?”

  “I know how we’re made,” she said through clenched teeth.

  “Really? Doesn’t seem so. You say the Dea gave you a choice. I say the only reason you’re not bonding to me right this minute is because you don’t have a beast, therefore no Drall. Hell, Jaylin, none of the women we bond to have a beast or a Drall, they all have a choice. Shouldn’t there be a shitload more rejected shifters out there? But there’s not. Because the Drall brings the shifter together with his true mate. You’ve awakened the Drall in me, Jaylin. We are meant to be. You know that.”

  “I also know what I’ve seen, spent years witnessing.” She sighed. “I didn’t decide to take my clientele to strictly human without reason. I specialize in Fewshon grief and have seen the destruction it causes. I don’t want that for you and I sure as hell don’t want it for me. I’ve told you from the beginning that I wasn’t interested, and that still stands.”

  That she h
ad, but he never expected this to be the reason. “Who do you expect to Fewse with, then?”

  “No one. As a female half shifter I do not have the capacity to open the Fewshon in a human man, like you can in a human female. I don’t have an instinct driving me to bond. I don’t have to Fewse like you do. I can…will marry…a human. Their grief is horrible, but it’s not life-crippling like a shifter’s. If I marry a human male and something were to happen to me, he could, hopefully, find love again after he’s able to cope with my death. A shifter waits for death to rejoin his mate. What kind of life is that?”

  “It’s not like that, Jaylin. Not at all.”

  “Oh, really?” She gave a brittle smile. “My very human mother lost my shifter father when I was twelve. She was thirty-eight. In the prime of her life. It’s been almost twenty years since he died. If she’d married a human instead, she could’ve found love again. But no, she reciprocated the bond, Fewsed her soul to his, and what has she been left with?” She paused. “Loneliness. Twenty years of living alone in a huge house, never dating, never kissing, never being held again, just waiting for her time to be back with him in Anavrin.”

  At least that gave him more insight into her thought process, but she was seeing it all wrong. “That’s the way it’s supposed to be. The bond is eternal. Have you ever talked to her about how she feels?”

  “Of course I have.”

  “Has she ever said she regretted her decision?”

  She averted her gaze. “That doesn’t matter.”

  “It does matter.”

  “No. It doesn’t.” Her eyes locked with his again. “She doesn’t regret her decision, but I’ve seen the life she’s lived since his death. I do not want that. For God’s sake, I’ve had clients who lost their mates almost immediately after the ritual. Some failed to breed and are spending the rest of their lives completely alone. You can’t seriously tell me you want that?”

  “I do if it’s with you.” He meant the words with all his heart. She was the link that would make his life complete. Only without her bond would he truly be alone. How could he convince her of the same thing?